Owners
One of the original 8, Al Rover was invited to the league based on his illustrious career coaching non-fantasy football in the GTA. Several regional and provincial titles on the field however did not seem to directly translate to fantasy, with the biggest difference seeming to be how players were acquired. As a high school coach, there is no drafting, as the players are the students from your school. This lack of drafting experience has shown, and continues to show, as Al is famous for drafting a guy who was taken several rounds earlier. A dad through and through, his famous credo of if you're not first, you're last (later made famous by Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby) means that he has finished last 9 times in 10 years, though in actuality, he has only been Wurtz once. Though he has a losing record against 9 of his 12 competitors, he'll tell you that doesn't mean a thing, as he is one of only 4 people to rest a Z10 on his mantle. A league favourite, being the most likely to call something (or anything, or everything) bullshit, he is a much loved group member looking to sneak into the All Time top 5 by year 15! Officer Beauvais joined the league in the expansion of 2018 and put the league on notice by taking home the Wurtz in year one. A perpetual 'winner' since then, the Downtown Browns have won the Consolation Bracket 3 times and finished 3rd in the last 4 years. The team also owns the distinguishing feat of being the only team to completely miss an entire draft! With a winning record against Gord and a .500 record against 5 others, the Downtown Browns send the message to their opponents that there's always a chance! Having joined after some serious convincing, Gord has been a steady presence in the league. And just as he is the only league member in history to never really declare his favourite NFL team, he has never truly decided whether he is a good or bad team in our league. Though with 2 third place finishes and 5 bottom three finishes, including back to back last place finishes, it seems as though the Draughters are leaning hard toward the bottom. Gord has owned the powerhouses of the MacDonald family, with a combined 17-5 record against Ron and Ty, but will need to sharpen up his spreadsheets to see more success against real teams. As one of our more recent joiners, having entered the league in 2018, Greg has clearly left his mark. He came in scorching hot, winning the regular season title in his first year. Even more impressive (if you ask him or Kyle), he finished 3rd in the playoffs, obviously the best spot to finish. Since then, he's failed to replicate that third place magic, with finishes of 4th, 5th, or 6th in all the year since. This means the Telford has not missed the playoff in his 5 year tenure, an impressive feat. As a former baseball player and man of the theatre, he brings a welcome mix of athletic knowledge and dramatics to the group. Will Brady Gaga hear the 'Applause' that comes with a bronze medal again in the next decade, or are they doomed to continue to reside in the 'Shallow'? Only time will tell, but we're excited to find out! Kyle entered the league just prior to the draft in 2020. The league was thrilled to have him in to replace Ron, but that sentiment wore off quickly! Coming out hot with a third place finish in his inaugural season (the best place to finish if you ask him or Greg), Kyle has been middling at best since then. However, he must be extremely pleased having one illustrious third place finish under his belt to go along with a 10-3 record against the McCusker boys. His record against Al (1-7) is almost a chilly as his signature frigid takes. Like Russell Wilson in Denver, we'd love to see more from Kyle and his squads, but it seems increasingly unlikely! Markās ten year run has truly been remarkable. Tom Brady wishes he won as much as Mark Spalding. 5 wins in 10 years is truly impressive. This includes a winning record against each of his opponents, except Troy who he only has a .500 record against. He does seem to follow the Al Rover/Ricky Bobby āFirst or Lastā, with no other top 3 finishes. But this is nitpicking, itās tough to find flaws in this specular fantasy stretch. Being this successful makes you some friends in high places (hello Fabs!), but is it worth the loss of so many of his good friends in the real world? If you ask Mark, heās sure to say yes 1000 times. Give it up everyone, whether you want to or not, for the King of Fantasy,Ā MarkĀ Spalding! A truly essential member of the League, Matt is responsible for the name of the League, though this was through the absence of knowledge of the famous song "Boot Scootin' Boogie", rather than creativity or clever word play. As shown by his second best all time win percentage, Matt is never an easy out. But just like how he almost knew the name of the famous Brooks & Dunn song, Matt is famous for his almosts. In 2019, 2020, and 2021, Club D'Agostino found a way to get to the finals, only to lose to a different opponent each year, similar to his father's beloved Bills. Outside of this impressive string of finals losses, Matt boasts elite stats against low win percentage teams, including a 7-2 record against Garret and a combined 14-0 record against the MacDonald boys. An original expansion member, the league's resident immigrant uses his knowledge of calcio (futbol), footy, and football to put himself dead in the middle of these all time rankings. After a hot start saw a third and second place finish, the team went through a dark period, finishing no higher than 7th for 4 consecutive years (speculation says that this was due to a deep depression after Italy failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup). However, Aussie Rules has returned to winning ways recently, including another runner up finish this most recent season. Rudy is no slouch, with the 5th best winning percentage all time, and he is easily the least hated, least chirped member of the league. Your humble commissioner, Shayne is an original founder of this league along with an elite talent. In any other league, his 3 league titles in 10 years would certainly have him in the top spot, but like Lemieux in the 80s and 90s, he will have to settle for 2nd best. With double digit wins against all opponents (except 1) who he has come up against at least 14 times, and more Z10s than playoff misses, Shayne refuses to lose (to almost everyone). Though it's hard to say whether his greatest contributions are as manager of Rover's Rams or as your commissioner, it's easy to tell that Shayne has no problem writing nice things about himself. Another founding member of the group, Deputy Commissioner is one of only 4 players to hold the Z10 trophy, having done so 4 times. Three of those were during his Deputy Commissioner duties, but one was his glorious 2018 championship, which he completed a year after his second Wurtz in shocking turnaround fashion. As shown by his 6th best win percentage, Troy's high ranking on this list comes from appreciation for the "boom" part of this boom or bust player. All of these ups and downs have led him to secure a record of .500 or better against 10 of his twelve competitors in the group, with only his father and brother-in-law having the upper hand on him. Easily one of the most passionate and least likeable players in the league (he has famously been named the Least Sportsmanlike Player in the EG Slowpitch League in 3 consecutive seasons), Troy is a master of posting bulletin board material. This was best demonstrated in the first year post-COVID as he generously doled out MACcinations. Love him or hate him, the league is better off thanks to our #4 BSnJer! Retired Owners
A founding member of the league, started off red hot, finishing 3rd in the inaugural season, he followed that up as the League's Wurtz player the year after. Other than another 3rd place finish, Calvin did not achieve another top half finish in BSnJ. After the 2018 season, he seemed to realize that he much prefers math jobs to Math Games, as he quit the league to focus on work or something, who cares. With records above .500 against only Greg, Gord, and Ty, Cal's opponents always had an Anticiperection to see him on the line up tab! The oldest player in BSnJ history, born in 1950 (estimated), joined the league late and left early, but left an important impression on the league. Known best for pushing the league to consider their fine structures and getting Eli Manning at 1st overall (a steal), Ron was a steady presence in the league. Never one to fall into the trap of opposition trap talk, he kept any and all Giants players employed on his way to winning records against Al (7-4) and Garret 4-1! A founding member of the league, Tyler MacDonald is as unique an individual his team's name would suggest. Like his father, he was intimately familiar with the nuances of the league's fine system. He carried his laid-back personality into his fantasy football managing. This low level of enthusiasm for fantasy football lead Tyler to withdraw himself from the league to pursue the far less strenuous past-time of endurance sports, but not before amassing winning records against Shayne, Greg, Rudy, and Ron. His 0.400 win percentage is truly astounding considering he was the manager who cared most about winning in 0.00 percent of his matchups!
